maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
