I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
