I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
