omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
