Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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