Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
