By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
