She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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