i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize