Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
