if i died would you start the facebook group?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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