Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
