No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
