i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
