so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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