dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
