he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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