Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
