You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
