Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
