Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
