omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
