Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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