I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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