I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
