So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Don't make out with my wife yet
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
