ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
