We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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