Soap is not a condiment
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
pop tarts are not kleenex
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
