i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
