Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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