Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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