You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
