Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
