true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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