the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
