the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize