I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
