PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
