I cannot find my penis.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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