He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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