i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
