I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
