You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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