i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
