every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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