it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
