just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
