Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
