So drunk its hurt
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
