I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
