Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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