Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
