You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm way too hungover for life right now
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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