I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I intend to get homeless drunk
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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