you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
