I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I want a musical about memes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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