is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
