i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
