Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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