So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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